I think at some point, everyone feels too much, they think too much, they fall too hard. In these moments of weakness, I've found that a support system is the most vital thing to have. And lucky for me, I've got a damn good one. I have friends who will sit with me and hug me while I have tears streaming down my face. They will stay up with me while I rant to them about all the things going through my head and all the doubts I have and all the unknown dreams and things I'm struggling with. It's amazing because at those low low points; those are the places when God finds me. I know he was never gone, and he knew where I was all along, but those are the moments when he knows I'm yearning for him.
Not every day is easy for anyone, and I've come to realize that with so many people I know struggling with anxiety or depression or just tough situations - and not every day is easy for me either. I've been in a place that's a little lonely at times, a little sad at times, a little bitter, maybe frustrated with God. But I have those friends; the kind that not everyone is fortunate enough to have. But I'm here to tell you, that people want to be there even if you think they don't. You just have to make a choice to reach out and ask them. You need to make an effort in your relationships and reassure them that they are needed and they are loved back.
The other night, I flipped open this book, "If You Feel Too Much" by Jamie Tworkowski, that I started reading months ago (of course I never finished it because I have a tendency to want to read and then never finish). But this quote stood out to me:
"I hope that there is beauty in your memories, and I hope there is someone who will talk you through the night and remind you of the promise of the sunrise, that beauty keeps coming, that there are futures worth waiting for and fighting for, and that you were made to dream"
That someone who will talk with you for hours on end when that is all you need - they're there, you just have to look around sometimes. And I've found that having a few friends who you have those deep connections with are so much better than having tons of friends who give you surface level conversations and fun nights out. Find those friends who will show you that life is beautiful. The ones you can pick up a phone with and have a 3 hour conversation with after weeks of not talking. The ones that push you to be better. The ones that push you towards God. The future doesn't have to be scary. It will all be worth it in the end, even if it doesn't seem like it at this moment. Everyone has seasons of trial, but seasons of joy are right around the corner. Sometimes it takes a little waiting (or a lot of waiting), but that doesn't mean you should quit the dream.